Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  AKeybladeYouSay on Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:54 am

Serious question: How are you planning to deal with the characters we (I) wrote that just dropped off the face of the fucking earth after we (I) got bored with them?
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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:37 pm

Not as hard of a question as you think. They could be killed like Alex - though he had circumstances that made his death probable - they could have more writing attached so that they stop being just one-shot characters, or they could be given assignments that keep them out of sight. I think Texers and Rexers got relegated to off-screen tech support once Nate stopped bothering with them. I know I made two characters who I haven't so much gotten bored of as I haven't really had a good chance to write for them.

So we could look at the characters and decide what to do with them. MiM, for example. Do we want him to be killed, given more screen time, or given a position like System Administrator for the organization's computers. I like the latter two options, since I think I could do his character a little bit of justice, as I have experience writing for robots. Well, he's a cyborg, but who cares? Of course, it would make perfect sense to make him an Admin, which would keep him from ever getting out as often.

My idea for MiM is this: I write a bit of extra stuff for him before Xeromus promotes him to System Admin, which takes up all of his time from then on. Unless you wanted to write him, Yusei, but I don't really think you do.

Why am I focusing on MiM, you may ask? Well, because I'm at his introduction. He's just walked up to the castle, and while it's listed on the first post of this topic that I've written that most recently, I dunno if you guys check that much. I mean, you guys started commenting a bit more once I posted up the end of Topic 1, and that's kind of a milestone.

So, now for the others... perhaps we should comb through the archives and pick their fates out ahead of time? Everybody, do you remember which characters got dropped off the face of the planet? I think Nori, Norio, and Josephine basically stopped doing anything after a point, though I DO remember a scene with Norio and Rexial that happened much more recently than that. Yusei, you said they were basically living in peace at this point, right? So maybe they could move out of the castle and into the town, coming back to check in once in a while? Or they could just be living in the castle.

Xeromus: Damned freeloaders.

...To be honest, a lot of the characters aren't just forgotten about. Yeah, Yusei is the one who does it most, I'm tempted to do it sometimes, and Nate's done it plenty, but for the most part it never happened. Or we just forgot about them completely.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  AKeybladeYouSay on Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:28 pm

Well, I had just remembered both MiM and R.
I seem to have a thing for initials. I dunno why.
But they both kinda became irrelevant.
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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:36 pm

In he rewrite, R gained a bit of importance for a reason we didn't bother with originally: information. It's not like the characters just automatically could've known about all of Organization XIII's secret plans and stuff like they did in the original writing, so R serves the important function of informing Xeromus about the Replica Program, along with some of their other secrets.

Also, I just finished making some edits to the rewrite's document. The group no longer goes straight from EotW to Twilight Town and the fight with Xorion, Dispatch and Seth's fight is set in a nearby alleyway and Rexial orders the group to focus on taking out Orion before helping him, and there were some other minor edits to enhance everything. Of course, it's not edited in the posts yet, because I have to double-check everything to make sure I didn't make any stupid mistakes, like saying they saved Kashyyyk thirty minutes ago when they went back and rested before fighting Orion. Also I have class in ten minutes, and I gotta run.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Haar_Dragon on Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:04 pm

I remember I sent of Ichiro in a callous moment by Daniel, but...while I don't want him dead, I don't think he really serves a purpose. I have no idea what to f*cking do with him any more, he was just there so that Daniel had someone to talk to. I could've made him a generic citizen and it wouldn't have mattered...

Aside from that, there are some users that dropped off the face of the everything, but I can't think of anyone who just got abandoned...since my guys are coming back if the story ever gets moving (not that it's any fault of anyone here, just circumstances.)

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:45 pm

...Oh, and I forgot to mention: I'll be posting any extra chapters in between the topics. So right now would be when I would post any "Intermission" chapters, which would be pieces of writing that are either basically prologues for other characters, events that weren't covered and might be nice to know about, or the like.

Since there'll be a pause in me putting the writing up anyway while I fix up the story in certain places and edit those posts, I'd like to ask you guys to come up with chapters to put in, or at least ideas for me to work with. I'd like to see chapters for Xorion and Lyxsal, but I already know Yusei doesn't want to write that. Since Intermissions don't have to take place at the point they're positioned at, they can be prologues for characters that were already introduced and are taking part in the story.

Hmm... Since Thananx will be introduced in the second topic, I'm thinking giving him an Intermission would be a good idea. It shouldn't be too difficult to write for his character, but I'd need to hunt down the details of his backstory, which would be easier if I could just ask Nate about... hrm. I'm also thinking that one for Dispatch could be done the next time around, since we've got nothing on him yet, and in the next topic, he gets a little but of coverage on his past, so an Intermission clarifying what exactly happened with him could be done. I mean, all we know is that his friends, world, and possibly family were swallowed by the Heartless, and he's pissed. That being put into writing could help Dispatch out quite a bit with how sadly rushed his character is.

...Oooooor, Haar, we could write that whole thing up and put it where the basic summary is SUPPOSED to go, making the whole thing with Dispatch make more sense immediately. Do you feel up to writing that out?

(For the record, Halcyon says he's writing up one for Xancel, so look forward to that at some point.)

But I'd like to put in two Intermissions here. It seems like a good number: not too much, not too little. I mean, you guys were fine with having two prologues instead of my original plan of having three, right? Then again, I don't think I mentioned the idea that I'd write up one for Rexial's naming, introduction to Org.XIII, and his escape.

Another idea I had is sending somebody to EotW - probably Rexial - and figuring out exactly what the hell was going on there, also pointing out that the only world they freed was Kashyyyk, since the place is still there.



So, in summary!

-Intermissions are just Prologues that go in the middle instead of the beginning.

-Yusei, I won't force you to write up Lyxsal and Xorion's chapters, but do you think I should do it?

-I'm thinking of doing one for Thananx.

-Haar, do you want to write up the incident with Dispatch and the Heartless attacking his home? And do you prefer that being put in as an Intermission or just putting it in the space where Dispatch actually remembers it in the story?

-I want to have two Intermission chapters put up before I move on to Topic 2.

-I have a couple of ideas involving the use of Rexial for exposition.

-Feel free to make suggestions, okay?

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Haar_Dragon on Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:32 am

I'll be perfectly honest, I was kinda making everything up on the fly. I had totally forgotten I actually GAVE Dispatch a backstory. If I remember right as of now, it was mentioned off-hand by Aaron, who then proceeded to walk away because f*ck it I didn't want to make a real conversation anyway.

I suppose I could make something up real quick, but it wouldn't be extremely long, and I've kinda explained about how he doesn't really care about his past any more. Of course, if you think it's important for the readers, I could do something that isn't nothing. But again, I don't think it'd be all that long.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:46 am

I think it would help a little bit with how rushed he was, just a bit. It doesn't have to be all that long either, since I think I'll be putting it in the main story instead of as an Intermission, since there's an appropriate place for it to be in.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Haar_Dragon on Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:59 am

Alright. Might get to work on that some time this week.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:34 am

Alright. And I think I'll go ahead and write up the exposition on EotW with Rexial as one of the Intermissions, since by the next topic nobody will really want to hear about it by then. As for the other one, two chapters starring Rexial wouldn't be that fun to read back-to-back, especially since they'd cover two very separate points in time, during which he's developed a lot. I think I'll have the other Intermission with Rex go after Topic 2, since we'll be missing him during that time anyway.

Now, then, what'll be Intermission 2...? Thananx seems like the best option, since he's going to be introduced in Topic 2. What do you guys think?

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Haar_Dragon on Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:00 am

A prologue for him? Sounds like a fine idea to me.

And I like Rexial. He's a badass.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:05 am

Well, if I overdose the writings with too much Rexial, then everybody will get sick of him, myself included. I mean, he's very significant at the beginning of the story, and in the rewrite he becomes even MORE significant because of his specialties and experience with Org.XIII, and being the oldest member next to Xeromus, but I've already been giving him more screen time and all. He shouldn't hog all of the glory. And I'm sure it'll be better off this way, so we get a little bit of him during a long stretch in which he doesn't appear.

Alright, I should probably dig up Thananx's backstory then. Anybody else remember bit of it, or where I can find it? I get the feeling the details aren't on his Bio...

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Haar_Dragon on Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:40 am

Okay, so I got bored and actually wrote the whole thing up just now. Should I PM it to you?

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:42 am

Yep, that'll do it. I'll edit it into the document from there.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:48 am

Alright, Dispatch's flashback is now in the document, and I've written up Intermission 1. Now for Intermission 2, which will be Thananx... *Sigh* And that means I'll have to dig around a bit, or risk writing something completely inconsistent with his backstory.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  khfreak358 on Tue Jan 21, 2014 9:48 pm

I could probably flesh out Susan's backstory a bit more. Go into more detail about how she and Siks were separated. Probably do more with Kotank, too, while I'm at it.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:19 pm

Sounds great. Anywhere in particular you think it should go? Or shall I just put it in somewhere that isn't already occupied?

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  khfreak358 on Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:51 pm

Probably somewhere with a fair bit of time before Susan's first appearance. Close enough that it'll still feel relevant, though.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Wed Jan 22, 2014 12:09 am

Didn't she show up some point before the Org.XIII Final Battle of Anticlimax? Because that means it would replace Thananx's Intermission. Of course, since it'll probably just be a proper writing-out of his backstory, it can wait. If this is the case, then it DOES put the pressure on you to finish it at some point soon, since it would have to be done before I could continue the rewrite being posted.

But it would be AWESOME.

So, how soon do you think you'll have that ready? I mean, if it has to wait, then I could still bump it to the next topic, but I'd really like it done within the month if it can be done.

Bottom line: Can it be done soon, or will I push it back?

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Admin (HalcyonWandering) on Wed Jan 22, 2014 3:49 am

Sorry for the delay on my end. I'm currently working on Xancel's backstory now. And it's considerably lengthy considering I'm covering everything from when he first became a nobody to when he enters the story proper.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Wed Jan 22, 2014 3:54 am

That sounds lengthy. Think it's long enough that I'll have to split it into more than one chapter? After all, two or three Intermissions where we get to see Xancel or Lance are better than his entire story being told in one go, because then it feels like the perspective is shifting to focus almost completely on him, before switching back to what's actually happening.

In fact, I'm thinking about the idea of continuing this, even once we hit the point where we moved to TITAL. We had improved, but we still kinda sucked. A lot. What do you guys think? It also feels like it would be a slight bait-and-switch to have foreshadowing for Xancel, then have the story end before he even gets to his first appearance happened. And there's the massive drop in quality between the rewrite and the start of the first TITAL topic, which might be kind of jarring. ...Do you guys think it'd be a good idea to continue this, if we can?

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Admin (HalcyonWandering) on Wed Jan 22, 2014 3:56 am

Absolutely, I'm reading the old topics to pick up little details that I personally forgot... And jesus, some of the stuff I wrote was so cringe-worthy.

Ugh, it's bad...

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:01 am

Then it's settled, this train ain't stoppin' 'til it runs out of rail.

...Soooo, again, how long do you figure your writing on Lance and Xancel will be? I mean, if it's too large to fit into a single post, clearly I'll be forced to break it up, but I like to keep these posts from being TOO long, because then it's easy to lose your place when reading. And again, all of that back-to-back would have a weird effect on things, including putting the story itself on hold for longer than it should be.

Can it be broken down into clearly identifiable chunks? Like, Lance's childhood until things went wrong, the time right after they went wrong, and then finally the events leading directly up to his appearance?

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Org.XIV Characters: Aleri, Rexial, Xeromus, Adachi, Uchikina, Vita.
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To Be Introduced: Stice, Some jackass ghost, Rekoka, Raidou. Also some villains.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  Admin (HalcyonWandering) on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:07 am

My current plan was to write it as three seperate chunks.

The Attack On Castle Willright/Creation of Xancel

Xancel's Time on Tundra-X(Nick's Homeworld)

Xancel's Wandering leading up to his actual appearance.

I felt like they could be interspersed far enough to not cause whiplash that way.

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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:21 am

Perfect. Now, let me think about this for a second...


Prologue 1: Xeromus/Reumos' State of Affairs
Prologue 2: Aleri's Peaceful Days

Topic 1

Intermission 1: Rexial's Investigation of EotW
Intermission 2: (Siks, Susan and Kotank) OR (Rise of Fiery Thananx)

Topic 2

Intermission 3: Rexial and the XIII
Intermission 4: Attack on Castle Willright (If it's not ready, and I decide to forge on before it is, then it will be pushed back)

Topic 3

Intermission 5: Unforgiving Tundra(Xancel)
Intermission 6: (Will fill in as needed)

Topic 4

Intermission 7: Wandering King
Intermission 8: (Will fill in as needed)

Topic 5

Intermission 9: (Empty slot)
Intermission 10:  (Empty slot)

TITAL Topic 1


One idea to fill in one of those slots would be Rexson/Soren's backstory, or perhaps Maya's. I mean, we've got four empty slots as it stands, and one idea that I could pull off in the meantime, that being Thananx.

Also, one last thing... the format for Intermissions requires a Time and Location stamp, and the time is relative to established events, since we never figured out a calendar for the story, so we can't exactly use dates. It's mostly to avoid any confusion, like why Rexial would investigate a world he's been to already, find out about things he already knew, and generally be unfamiliar with the world when he was the one who brought it up first when asked by Siks.

All good?

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Gstol, what the hell is your signature supposed to mean!?
TITAL Characters: Aleri, Rexial, Kiel, Sukiru, Aleri@Future(Aleri's ghost from the future) Leon(FFII, not KH), Seta Souji(P4 Protagonist), LaKuRo.
Org.XIV Characters: Aleri, Rexial, Xeromus, Adachi, Uchikina, Vita.
Planned Characters for DB Story: Redemi, Nobis, Matsuda.
To Be Introduced: Stice, Some jackass ghost, Rekoka, Raidou. Also some villains.

"Go forth, and set the world on fire!"
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Re: Org.XIV: Recompleted - Discussion

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