One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

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 One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Whats_Up4444 on Sun Dec 16, 2012 6:22 am

All OOC here. And I mean ALL OOC.

And let's try planning every thing before anything goes.

Make it like we're writing a tv show. As we write all the characters actions as a whole, then go into actual writing in the topic.

That's why all OOC goes here.

No laziness.

As of now I plan on having everyone introduce into existence.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Sun Dec 16, 2012 6:44 am

Well, if we're not jumping straight to the event wherein Yuki's spirit warns everybody of the corruptive force, then Redemi, Nobis, and Masuta would be at their home, an old dojo. Redemi would probably be training, Masuta would be watching, and Nobis would be shouting words of encouragement, or something.

...In case anybody forgot, Redemi is a spear-wielding fighter, Nobis is a young mage, and Masuta is a short old man with a cane.

Alright, let's plan this one out! I've got a ton of plot ideas for the future, but for now, let's focus on the main issue.

...Having said that, I'll put my ideas up, so that they don't clash with any major ideas anybody ELSE had. As amazing as I've been told I am, I could easily screw somebody over with a hasty plot decision, or just one I hadn't thought to tell you about. I warn you, though, the following will be spoileriffic!


Spoiler:

-There will be a character who was abducted by a mad cult and subjected to their insanity, turning her into a villainess. She will be fought and convinced that nihilism is stupid, and that friendship is awesome. Faking her death, she'll join my party assuming a different identity to keep most of the party out of the loop.

-Masuta is Rexial. If you're mad for spoiling it, don't be; it was going to be obvious. Well, it'll turn out that the Rexial they've been travelling with is only a piece of his heart; the real Rexial is asleep in Castle Restoration, having been unable to deal with all his bonds being cut as his friends all died of old age.

-The group will go to Twilight Town relatively early on, running into the current head of the Disciplinary Committee, Stice, the descendant of Aleri, who's pissed about a bunch of outsiders coming in - suspicious, darkness-using ones at that - and acting like there's nothign wrong with it. She gets into a fight with Redemi, which results in them all becoming friends once she understands that Darkness is not evil.

-My party will meet Aleri's lingering sentiment, who will proceed to curbstomp them until Rexial fights him, helping him return to lucidity. Once he's himself, he'll join the party.

-A traveller named Raidou will join the party, who once saved an entire country from a tyrannical despot. It was a pretty big deal, but its given him an ego that makes him hard to take seriously. Eventually, they visit the country he saved, where he is known as their greatest hero, and they understand Raidou's ego, and appreciate him a little more.

-There will be a hilariously bad creation myth opera that the party sees, not taking into account the fact that the worlds were seperate 200 years ago, and it did not come to be an inhabitable world because of a trio of friends. Rexial and Aleri had been there to see the worlds become one, in theory, which means they'll be laughing the whole time, or restraining the urge to throttle whoever wrote the mess! Which would technically be me, wouldn't it?

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  khfreak358 on Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:47 pm

I haven't got too much planned for Zakk. I can tell you that he'll probably be with his mother at his home on Destiny Islands. I don't plan to reveal his lineage until the meeting with Yuki, but I'll be sort of hinting at it here and there.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Haar_Dragon on Sun Dec 16, 2012 8:58 pm

My pair would just be wandering around, probably stealing from Asylum in the intro post. After all, they're a couple of street-kids with no money and no job qualifications, there's really nothing else they could realistically be doing.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Eques tenebrarum on Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:47 pm

Rosen will be escaping his Family Manor, and then ill set him up in a secondary world/location. He'll meet another OC based on that location and just run with him or her plot till I'm ready for the unveiling of my false Org character. Or he'll roam alone until he finds someone to assist him in his goal of revenge.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Maverick Entity on Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:47 pm

Absolutely no ideals.

Hasn't stopped me before though.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  XGeass on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:13 am

The only two characters I really have planned for this are Kenta Kokoro, a brown haired boy who is kinda treated as an out cast from the older members of the family, and a mysterious stranger named Pierrot Chain.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Whats_Up4444 on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:35 am

^Outcasted from brown hair? Or other reasons.

Because this generation of the bloodline has abandoned all those rules.

Maybe you could say the older generation. Just as the elders, or adults.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  XGeass on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:47 am

For brown hair and yes the elders. Sorry if I wasn't clear enough.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Whats_Up4444 on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:52 am

^I'm glad people pay close attention to minor plot devices.

But unfortunately, I didn't pay attention to exact wording.

To me "older" meant "Everyone". No idea why that happened.

A little tired.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  XGeass on Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:02 am

I am wide awake mostly due to the fact I am freaking hooked on Gankutsuou. I cant stop watching it.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Haar_Dragon on Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:04 am

And I am wide awake due to the fact that I haven't slept, so now I'm getting my second wind! Woo, except that was largely unrelated!

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Mon Dec 17, 2012 8:32 pm

Alright, so what segment of story do you think will fit in next? Hikaru and Kage are in Asylum Town, What'sUp's mysteeeeeeeeriouuuuuuus character (Read: I forgot her name, it's been too long) has shown up in Astral Forest. Is this a marathon of introductions?

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Eques tenebrarum on Mon Dec 17, 2012 8:45 pm

Im guessing yes, so im introducing Rosen
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:17 pm

*Sigh* Be glad that the rant I had been writing got trashed, so I have to condense it this time.

Rosen's intro was rushed at the start. You didn't describe him or his circumstances before hurling him into the conflict and adventure, so we don't CARE about his alienation, because his previous setting, his siblings, his parents, his home... NOTHING was truly established. Describing things in greater detail would help, too. You wrote out how he found the secret lab as if it happened last month, not just a second ago! Did he find a secret switch in the bookshelf in his father's study while looking for something? Did he accidentally knock over a suit of armor concealing a passageway? How did he find the lab? And why do we care about his not-introduced-until-they're-being-attacked siblings? No, don't omit them, answer the question in the story, before they're attacked!

Ugh... I hate to be a d*ck about this, it's just that it's early days for this RP, and the No OOC In Main Topic rule implies higher standards. Anything that leaves a bad taste in my mouth makes a bad first impression, and potentially wrecks our enthusiasm for the story. Plus, you introduced a direct conflict before anybody else did. And they didn't really seem worth the time, since they were weak enough that an unarmed kid who hasn't been established as truly gifted in fighting could take them down with nothing but hurt knuckles.

It's just... you accidentally made the story as a whole feel bad to me, for various accidental reasons. Later on, I wouldn't have batted an eye, but it throws everything off balance, inverts the pigmentation of reality, and makes me go cross-eyed! It's like watching Excel Saga! I feel my brain melting! AAAAAAUUUUuuuuuugh...!

Okay, that may have been an exaggeration, but, seriously, the reader won't know Rosen or his family or anything about his home just by reading the Bio or any of that. When you read a book, do you look in an attached instruction booklet for the character descriptions? No, you find out who they are by reading! If you expect people to find out about Rosen's life before all the craziness happens by reading the Bio, don't.

I think you understand my point. Mind you, this is condensed.


Er, uh, so! Shall I write up my first segment?

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Eques tenebrarum on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:32 pm

Yeah it was rushed I know, i shotgunned it because I didn't want to forget it while dooing my work
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:43 pm

Well, when you get the chance, try to edit in some of the stuff that you left out. It really does make your post look displaced... it's like there's supposed to be a pre-existing context, but it's the one post where there IS no such context: the beginning. Once that's fixed, you'll be fine, though.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  khfreak358 on Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:08 pm

Yeah, I'm with Nebula. Didn't want to say anything, mostly because I tend to come off as a douche whenever I'm criticizing things. Really, he summed it up, just establish the characters more and it should work better. I think another problem, and this is in no way your fault, was comparison. Whats_Up and Haar both did a great job setting things up, which I felt made yours, being a bit mediocre, seem worse than it really was. That aside, Nebula, let's see how you handle things.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:50 pm

Eh, I just try to offset the d*ckishness with some sympathetic silliness. It seems to balance things out most of the time.

Alright, time to get to work on that first post!

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  khfreak358 on Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:15 am

Nebula, if I may offer some constructive criticism: Please, for the love of God, stop using black text. I get that you're trying to establish that the dialogue is coming from a different source, but when the text is the same color as the background, I'll sometimes miss the text altogether.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Admin (HalcyonWandering) on Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:18 am

It would be greatly appreciated if you guys could give me some critques. I'm always looking to improve.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  NebulaGregarZX on Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:48 am

Oh, I use the hardest-to-read text diliberately. It's not neccessary to know what it says, or even that it's there. It's kind of... additional content, in a way. Like Big the Cat in Sonic Adventure 2. Mash the A button during certain cutscenes, and he'll show up for no adequately explained reason. ARK Space Colony? I dunno, he's looking for Froggy.

Sorry, got off-topic. But if you find it hard to read, and want to know what it says, highlighting it makes it much easier to read. When I want it to be visible and eye-catching, I make it a brighter color. Aleri and Rexial have white and gray respectively, and that's not much different from default text color, but enough to easily tell them apart. So, yeah, it's my INTENTION that it's hard to see. I'm kind of a jerk like that. Also: Muhuhahahahaha!

And now I'm just messing with you. See? You didn't have to read this part. Totally unneccessary. It just adds flavor, and if you don't feel like squinting or highlighting it, skip it!


Well, Bob, I think that the fact that you're not recieving any criticism is a sign that it's pretty much flawless. I mean, I thought so. I have nothing to say that can make it better. Sorry I don't have any constructive criticism. I suppose you could have been slightly more clear about the "but the grass will still be glowing for three hours!" thing, but I understood it without any trouble. I mean, I had a TON of typos, but I don't recall seeing any in your post.

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Maverick Entity on Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:16 am

Will try to post something up when I get up. All I need to know is if there is a valley near the remains of Astral town. I originally planned to incorporate a "wind sweeping across the grass of the valley" kind of environment when I first tried typing something up (lost it due to hitting a key that sent me back a page sadly). If Astral town is gone, I would need to redo part of my OC's lore, seeing as how he couldn't be living there anymore. Also I must take into account all the snow "thinks devilishly about wind, standing on a frozen stream, and background atmosphere".

Also, you wouldn't believe how many times it has come across my mind to give my OC a bolt action rifle or muzzleloader with bayonet instead and somehow make it exciting to watch him in battle. Problem is, I can't find a good pic as a character base.

EDIT: Found a rifleman pics that intrigue me.
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&global=1&q=rifleman#/d2evuny

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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Whats_Up4444 on Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:08 am

^Secretly behind the forest is a valley.

Astral Town's location has changed. To more north. It's original location has become a forest.

It's actually in between the Forest and Tri-Star Town.

Unnoticed as of years past.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

Post  Whats_Up4444 on Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:10 am

And yes, marathon introductions.

Kiryu Kokoro is her name.

Check bios for any reminders.
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Re:  One Sky, One Land, One Ocean. (OOC)

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